Dear Ladies,
Have you noticed that the more boyfriends you've gone through, the easier it becomes to sense if your relationship is going south? It's true! All of sudden you notice little annoyances, such as how he's meeting his friend more often, or when he's one phone call short for the week, or if his text messages use one less smiley than usual. And you've probably noticed that the moment you feel these little annoyances, there seems to be no way to avoid an inevitable break-up. And when you DO try to fix things, it only seems to make the situation worse! So is there simply NO HOPE to save a relationship once he starts exhibiting disinterest, boredom, or distance? The answer is no. There IS hope! And I'm here to give it to you. Here's the thing -- too many women make the WRONG MOVES when they try to prevent a break-up from happening. Instead of fixing the relationship, the things they do actually only SHAKE THE FOUNDATIONS of the relationship, weakening it and putting it at risk of collapse. Do you know what the FOUNDATION of any good relationship should be? Of course -- it's LOVE! But "love" can be such a complicated thing. If you ask a million different women about their definition of it, I'm willing to bet you'll get a million different definitions. So I'll make it easier for you and use a different word that I believe pretty much sums it all up: CHEMISTRY. Is It REALLY Chemistry You're Feeling? Chemistry is that little "spark" you feel when you first met your boyfriend. It may have been a tiny spark at first, but it was something you couldn't stop feeling and thinking about. But, when you know how to handle yourself in a relationship, that spark will grow and grow and grow! Take a quick minute to remember what your picture of the "ideal man" was. Was he handsome? Was he rich? Was he smart? Was he kind and mature and level-headed? Now remember the men you fell in love with. Why did you fall madly in love with him, even if he wasn't exactly your idea of your "ideal man?" That's CHEMISTRY at work! "Chemistry" is Mother Nature's way of cluing you in on the men who'd make the best lifelong mates for you. It's hard-wired to every single one of us, and it helps us spot the BEST single men in society -- even if they go against our ideas of what "ideal men" should be. Now before we discuss how "chemistry" can help prevent a break-up, I'd like to clear two common misconceptions that women have about it. Take a few minutes to see if you have these misconceptions too! Misconception #1 - That it's possible to feel "chemistry" towards him -- but not vice-versa. Some of us define "chemistry" as the way we fall madly in love with a guy. When we meet a guy who sweeps us off our feet, we immediately say, "We have chemistry!" -- even if the guy isn't really attracted to us. Nope, that's not quite how chemistry works! When you love a man who doesn't love you back, that's not "chemistry." There's another word for that: "Infatuation." And no matter how strong your infatuation may be, if he doesn't love you back, then the relationship has no hopes of working out. Lesson number one? Chemistry is MUTUAL. If it isn't mutual, it's not chemistry. PERIOD! Misconception #2 - Once the "chemistry" is there, it stays there forever. Another misconception we have about "chemistry" is that if once we establish it with a guy -- once we fall in love with a great man who loves us back -- then it's there to stay. Sorry, that's not how it works, either. Chemistry is something you foster as time goes by. The more carefully and lovingly you nurture it with your boyfriend, the stronger it becomes! But if, like many girlfriends out there, you get complacent, and leave the work to your boyfriend, then it very quickly fizzles out into nothingness. And all of a sudden, your boyfriend finds himself in a relationship with no chemistry! (And THAT'S when he starts losing interest and putting distance between you.) And you know what's worse? Some of us, when the relationship doesn't work out, make the defensive claim: "There wasn't any chemistry in the first place." And we couldn't be more wrong! There WAS chemistry, but we simply didn't do the right things to keep it burning. When we claim "there wasn't any chemistry in the first place," it's like saying we had no control over the relationship -- and it's likely that we WON'T have any control over the relationships we're going to have in the future. Friends, that's NOT true! The "chemistry" CAN be there. We CAN control our relationships. And we CAN enjoy a great relationship with a man if we simply knew the secrets of how love really works! Using Chemistry To Prevent Break-ups I'm telling you right now, W -- right here, right now, you have the power to make a relationship work. You really do! And if you really wanted to prevent your relationship from falling apart, you could. All you need is to know EXACTLY how chemistry works in your relationship. Here's a clue -- it's not about what you SAY. It's about what you DO. And it's not as much as what you DO as it is about who you ARE! In almost a decade of studying dating and relationships, I've realized that certain habits, beliefs, and personality traits actually HELP women maintain a happy relationship. For instance -- when we know how to control our tempers, and avoid nagging and showing any sort of desperation or neediness to our boyfriends, we tend to keep the "chemistry" burning. Or when we switch from being "cautiously optimistic" to being "IRREPRESSIBLY optimistic," we drastically improve our "attractiveness" rating. Friends, chemistry isn't triggered by just one thing. It's triggered by MANY little things.
Alexander Fox.
No comments:
Post a Comment