How to get a husband. .....

How to get a husband, By Dr. Biodun Ogungbo


There are many single women on the racks
these days. Some have had their cakes and
eaten it all or perhaps given it away for free
to ‘bad’ boys. A few are now cynical,
malicious and aggressive women with hearts
of stone.
So, how do you end up in love with a man
who cares and loves you? When should you
sort out marriage, if that is what you want?
In medical school, we had some ‘lovey
dovey’ couples who stayed true to their
partners and have ended up with a life of
sheer bliss. You meet the best partners in
childhood, in school and the university. They
are often people who know you when you
were stripped down to the bare essentials:
un-layered and your true self. They are
people who were there right in your formative
years, who know who you are, what you are
about, where you have been and where you
are going.
The pictures taken during the years in the
university are often funny, with dated
hairstyles and outrageous clothes, at least on
the boys. The girls make more of an effort
when it comes to fashion in the university.
So, if a girl fancies you, it is likely she can
see more than just skin deep.
I met my wife on the corridor of the halls of
residence, on a clear starry night. She was
pleasant and easy to talk to: after all, talk is
cheap. I was bowled over by her beauty and
told her. She surprised me by saying she
found me attractive too! Really! No coyness,
fake and silly behaviour? Seriously! No
pretence? I had no choice but to marry her.
It was a similar story with my friend, Isaac.
The love of his life was a woman who had no
facades, no false teeth or fake eyelashes!
Both were far too real, natural and down to
earth to ignore.
Okay, some dose of reality is needed here.
Some people meet in the university and get
married. Some people meet after university
and do the same. Some other people meet in
university and things fall apart. So, sometimes
it may be luck or being at the right place, at
the right time. But, perhaps you can make
efforts and the right choices?
When should you get a husband?
This article was prompted by a book written
by Susan Patton, entitled Marry Smart.
Susan, an American, was a Princeton
graduate who wrote that young girls should
look for a husband with the same vigour as
they study for degrees. She posited that the
best time to get a soul mate was when they
were at their brightest, most beautiful and
fertile.
Anyway, to get a husband requires an early
search. Start in the university and be serious.
But, you need to know who you are and what
your personal values are. Also, know your
family orientation towards marriage, your
personal religion (not your family religion),
your sexual orientation and what kind of man
you desire.


What influences choice in Nigeria?


Religion has a big role to play in many
families. In Islam, marriage is not compulsory
and a woman has the right to live a single life
if she wishes to. However, try that in some
parts of Nigeria! In any case, a young girl is
often already married off or betrothed to a
man before she can say ‘Abracadabra.’ And
since a man can marry more than one,
choosing the man of your dreams, just for
you, is perhaps a tall order. You may have to
manage a ‘Tokunbo (has been)’


Family influences


The family also plays a strong role in curbing
your urge to settle down early and for good
reasons too. Not many can juggle education,
work and married life at a young age. Couple
this with the pressure to have children, lack
of understanding of family planning, things
soon fall apart. More often than not, with a
child on the way, work and education suffer
and dreams become unrealised. Thus, many
traditional families will steer their young girl
away from marriage.
Men, like sweet
You should see men like a box of sweets.
Some men are sweet inside out, some are
sweet only on the outside with a sour interior
and some are terrible all through. Some are
soft on the outside with a tough interior,
some have a hard case but are jelly on the
inside, and some are hard nuts, difficult to
crack and perhaps best avoided.


Brand yourself


When you find the right man, be yourself and
promote your personal brand. Show him the
future with you. Don’t be an easy lay but
dance slowly towards intimacy. Maintain strict
privacy about your sex life. If he cannot
appreciate you, unspoilt, at your sweetest
and most fertile, then perhaps he is not for
you. Do not try to change him!
Susan says, “Avoid love cheats. If he cheats
with you, he will cheat on you. Bad boys can
be fun to fool around with, and women do
have needs, but stay away from these pigs
for the sake of a little sausage.” Quit wasting
time with hopeless men.
Happy New You!

Punch.